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Lingering
I linger in the doorway
these same fears hold me back.
If I take the next unknown step
this strange world might swollow me.
My heart says "Take the leap"
but my body trembles with restraint.
So I linger in the doorway
watch all I love go passing by.
Maybe I need someone to pull me in
and turn the key in the lock behind me.
Falling
Come and go
Love and leave
It's a game to you
But I don't think I can play
You walk into my life
Fill my heart with your lies
I tast love on your lips
Until you turn and run
Leave me
Weeping
Bleeding
Still hoping...
Mistakes of the past
Crush my hope of our love
Until suddenly you're back in my arms
I hand you my heart again
Trust you to
Love me
Want me
Need me
...Leave me broken again...
Falling
I feel like a ship going under
Drowning in this vast abyss
I'm falling faster
The truth and the lies start to blur
I've got to breathe my last breath on my own
Your outstretched hand can't save my soul
Am I falling towards something?
Or falling forever?
My heart drowns in the ocean of your eyes
But my falling soul will finally fly
Heal
I'm so tired of being afraid
Surpressed by all my fears
My doubt still lingers here
And these wounds just won't heal
I wish I could be brave
But there's too much time can never erase
The past comes back to haunt me
I close my eyes and just drift through the memories
Perfect Illusion
Bow down in wonder
The perfectness before my eyes
But this world's not what it seems
Illusions cloud my vision
To see the truth I look inside
Rely on my heart to lead me blindly
The perfect illusion I seek
Never was and never will be
Save Me
You look into my eyes,
like open doors to my soul.
Can you see to the center of me?
Or has the world numbed your heart also?
Breathe life into me and make me complete.
You hold the key to the flood gates inside.
I had no voice in this frozen world,
My blood never ran 'til you came near.
I want to drown in your eyes and live in your soul.
I need you to save me from what I've become.
Scars
Peace,
the longing of the soul.
But how do you find peace,
where is it hiding?
For our soul is ever plagued,
by the demons in this world.
Our triumphs and failures,
they scar us all.
Is that where peace lies,
under the painful scars?
How do you reach it,
through scars that never fade?
Do you avoid the pains of the world,
pains that caused beautiful scars?
Though to never feel the pain,
would mean to also avoid the joy.
So the soul may long for peace,
but it suffocates without joy.
Contradiction
Love,
Hate.
Equally passionate,
and equally felt.
I look in your eyes,
my heart beats faster.
I feel your touch,
my skin burns.
My heart screams Love,
as I long for you next to me.
My mind counters: Hate,
as you stab me in the back.
If I could just move on,
see you and be like ice.
But I'm not like you,
I can't wall up what I feel.
I love you for what you did,
and hate you for what you do.
God help me get through this,
and bury your memory eternally.
Why
The world asks why,
but how can I answer?
To tell of my sorrows,
would be to let down my gaurd.
Instead of reveal myself,
I stick to my lies.
Everyone wants to know,
what I can't even answer for myself.
How do I tell you,
I can't stop pretending.
How do I say,
this pain brings relief?
So I think of another lie,
hope you'll be satisfied.
(Certain wording inspired by Evanescence, no infringement intended.)
All Poems Copyright ©2003 Brooke Ashlee Mankin
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